Lead with comfort, not questions
Start with: I am so glad you told me. This happens to smart people all the time. We will handle it together.
Do not ask why they did it. Scammers are trained to create fear and urgency, and many victims feel deep shame. If they feel blamed, they may hide the next one.
The first hour
- Make sure all contact with the scammer has stopped. Hang up, do not reply, and do not send more money.
- Call the bank or card company used to pay, using the number on the back of the card. Ask them to stop or reverse the payment.
- If they gave out a password, change it from a device the scammer never touched.
- If a caller installed anything on their computer, turn it off until someone you trust can check it.
The next few days
- Report the scam at reportfraud.ftc.gov and, if it happened online, ic3.gov.
- If their Social Security number was shared, freeze their credit and visit identitytheft.gov.
- Ask their bank about adding a trusted contact person to the account.
- Watch for recovery scams: callers who promise to get the money back for a fee.
- Scammers often try the same person again. Expect more calls and agree on a plan.
Protect them without taking over
Ask before you change things. Offer choices: would you like me to set up call blocking, or would you rather we do it together? Keep them in charge of their own money unless they ask otherwise. Losing control can feel worse than losing the money.
Free help for families
The AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 877-908-3360 offers free support from trained volunteers. The Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 can connect you with local services, including help from adult protective services if you are worried someone is taking advantage of your parent over time.
Stuck on a step?
Text Uncle at +1 208 214 0093 and tell him what you see on your screen. He walks you through it in plain words, one step at a time.
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Written by the Textuncle team. Last updated October 3, 2026.
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